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Parenting and education journalist
Toshimasa Ota's fertility advice

This "White Paper on Fertility Treatment" contains valuable data gathering insights from both men and women regarding various aspects of fertility treatment. Pregnancy is impossible without the cooperation of both partners. However, there are subtle differences between men and women in their approach to fertility treatment and their level of enthusiasm, and the data reveals that both partners are often confused and worried. Even the closest partners will naturally have different feelings and opinions about things like dramas and news. It's only natural that there will be differences in their stances on fertility treatment, which is often a first-time experience in life. Differences aren't necessarily a bad thing; rather, how you overcome these differences is what defines your partnership, and that becomes part of your shared history and a valuable asset. The important thing is not to run away from facing and supporting each other, especially during difficult times. If you do that, you'll be able to truly feel from the bottom of your heart, "I'm so glad I'm with this person."

  • #CHAPTER 1

    "Proper contraception" and "proper fertility planning" are two sides of the same coin.
    Accurate knowledge about "pregnancy" is common to both men and women.
    Both men and women, while single, are eager to learn how to avoid pregnancy, but have few opportunities to acquire knowledge about how to conceive. However, "contraception" and "fertility planning" are not two opposite concepts. In fact, they are two sides of the same coin. Acquiring correct knowledge about "pregnancy" leads to both "correct contraception" and "correct fertility planning." Let's acquire comprehensive and accurate knowledge about "pregnancy" rather than thinking of "the male body" and "the female body" as separate entities.

  • #CHAPTER 2

    Shifting blame will only make the situation worse.
    Problems are meant to be overcome together.
    It is known that the chances of getting pregnant decrease with age. Not only does the quality of sperm decline with age, but it is also known that sperm quality deteriorates with age. The extent to which age affects a person varies from person to person, but it is always better to start trying to conceive early. If you have started trying to get pregnant but are having difficulty, it is important not to think "who is at fault," but rather to talk it through together and work through it together.

  • #CHAPTER 3

    Having different feelings isn't a bad thing.
    What's important is to communicate and acknowledge each other.
    When trying to conceive is a long-term process, the physical, emotional, and financial burdens can become significant. Even when two people are trying to conceive together, it's natural that their perceptions of the burden may differ. In such cases, instead of blaming your partner for feeling differently, it's important to honestly communicate your feelings to each other, saying, "This is how I feel." And it's important to acknowledge each other's feelings by saying, "Ah, so that's how you felt." There's no need to judge each other's feelings.

  • #CHAPTER 4

    The awareness of keeping each other in line
    It helps us both feel like we are trying to conceive together.
    The assessment of whether you are successfully "trying to conceive together" is subjective. It can be rephrased as an assessment of "whether your partner understands your feelings about trying to conceive." If you feel your partner is "uncooperative," a different perspective might reveal that you are "being too pushy and ignoring their pace." The opposite is also possible. A sense of "trying to conceive together" is born from both partners making an effort to understand each other's feelings.

Toshimasa Ota / Parenting and Education Journalist
"The time when children will hug you and call out 'Daddy!' only lasts a few years. If you don't spend time with your children now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life," he said, explaining his decision to leave his job at Recruit Co., Ltd. He writes and lectures on topics such as partnerships between couples raising children, men's involvement in childcare, and education in general. He is also a certified psychological counselor and runs the website "Dad's悩み相談横丁" (Dad's悩み相談横丁), where he accepts questions from dads across the country via email. He has authored over 50 books, including "The Dad's Instruction Manual" and "Report on Fathers' Struggles."

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